The Naming of Gyms is a difficult matter, It isn’t just one of your holiday games; You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter When I tell you, a gym must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES. First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily, Such as The Garage, The Garden, The Shed, or The Outhouse, Such as The Living Room or The Hall, The Bedroom or The Kitchen— All of them sensible everyday names. There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: Such as The Playroom, The Library, The Loft, The Dressing Room— But all of them sensible places to make gains, But I tell you, a gym needs a name that’s particular, A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his barbell perpendicular, Or spread out his lats, or cherish his pride? Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Shred Of Dread, Garage Of Gains, or The Strength Unit, Such as Savage Garage, or else The Bitchin' Kitchen— Names that never belong to more than one gym. But above and beyond there’s still one name left over, And that is the name that you never will guess; The name that no human research can discover— But THE GYM HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess. When you notice a gym in profound meditation, The reason, I tell you, is always the same: His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name: His ineffable effable Effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular name.
By T.S. Eliot
Thomas Stearns Eliot, I am eternally sorry for ruining your work.
It is a literary crime, and I have brought shame to my family.
The above poem brings me to the topic of today which is that home training sucks. I've mentioned this in a few Instagram posts recently:
Most home gyms fail because of a lack of "specialness." Not many people are motivated to train in their living room.
This is somewhat of a problem when we are all in lockdown and we need to keep some of our hard-earned gains or take an active role in managing our mental health through exercise.
To make your home gym set up more special, more other, or more whatever it is you want to call it to make you train more it's often a requirement that we take special measures.
One of the best ways I've found is naming your gym something cool.
Our studio is named The Shed Of Dread.
Here are some of our clients' gym names:
The Bitchin' Kitchen
The Strength Unit
The Savage Garage
Harry Roberts of CSS Wizardry fame calls his training area 'The Wattage Cottage'
The Power Tower
See what names you can come up with for your training zone.
I'd recommend you have signs made if you can, make your gym area as separate from your living space as you can, and create a sense of otherness for when you are training.
Find the deep and inscrutable name for home gym and you may find you suddenly don't mind training at home quite so much.
By Chris Kershaw
The Heavy Metal Strength Coach